HW 21 - Expert #1

1. When Beth and her family found out that Erik was diagnosed with kidney cancer they couldn’t believe it because they wondered how this could happen to such a great guy.
2. While Erik was going through various treatments, and as his condition worsened, still their family refused to talk about death.
3. Beth’s family members helped Beth around the house so she wouldn’t have to work, or do laundry. She was able to spend more time with Erik and those days were the happiest moments of her life.
4. While Erik was in the hospital she didn’t want other people caring for her husband and looking at him as another cancer patient. Beth wanted to treat him like a human begin not a cancer patient because he was still the same but he was suffering from an illness.
5. Beth turned to a Buddhist monk on advice on what to look for when Erik’s last days would be. The Buddhist told her that first he would stop talking, then he would have hallucinations, and finally he would stop eating altogether.
6. When Erik died there was stillness in the room and in his body and she called Evan to come and see his father. She knew that he was going to die and she didn’t want to sleep because she didn’t want to miss “it”.
7. Erik fought death with everything he had. He refused to give up on life he went to many different doctors and took a lot of medication to reduce the illness.
8. Beth mentioned that we should never pass up the opportunity to tell someone you love them because you never know when any day is going to be your last.

Something that I found interesting was that she mentioned that while in distress she turned to a Buddhist monk for guidance on what she should do. Although I am not a Buddhist I do understand that we turn to religion because we need something to hold onto and figure out if what’s happening is part of the plan for our lives. Many times I pray for a miracle but sometimes it doesn’t work out that way. It doesn’t mean I lose faith in God, it just makes me happy that I have some guidance in my life because if not I would be a lost soul. I have never personally experienced death at my age but I experienced two deaths in my childhood, my great-grandmother and my brother, but as I get older I am thankful for the opportunities I have to meet new people and give them advice and have them do the same for me. In our lives as we grow it is important to share our experiences with people because we may be facing the same struggles someone else has faced before and we may take heed to their advice before we end up going down a path of destruction.

It is important to develop relationships with people because we never know when any day might be our last. Beth talked about the importance of giving someone a compliment because for some people it is really difficult to compliment others. The smallest gestures may brighten someone’s day. Another important idea is that life is too short to hold onto grudges and dislike we may have for other people. I move past the mistakes I’ve made and I allow those mistakes to shape me.

Beth’s presentation sparked more interest in people’s experiences with death. While Beth was speaking I was surprised that she didn’t become emotional because her husband’s death took place only three years ago. I thought that referring to old wounds would open up old feelings and that would trigger feelings Beth felt when she was with her husband before he passed. I am also interested in what different religions believe should be done with the actual care of the dead bodies.