HW 22 - Illness & Dying Book Part 1

My Brother by Jamaica Kincaid

Part 1

Précis:

Jamaica returned to her homeland, Antigua, because she found out her brother was sick. She was never very close to her family but in a way his disease was something that brought everyone together again. Jamaica’s relationship with her mother was strange because they couldn’t get along most of the time and Jamaica had always felt like her mother did things sometimes that were unnecessary; however her mother believed that she made no mistakes. Jamaica felt ambivalence towards her brother because she loved him but at the same time she wanted him to die because he was suffering from AIDS. Sometimes Jamaica felt like she loved him but she had never said those exact words. Watching her brother suffer from AIDS was interesting because he was isolated and his friends no longer talked to him, and you would think that since he had AIDS he would stop having sex but he continued. He even gave a woman AIDS because they had unprotected sex and he didn’t tell her about his disease. People’s reactions to hi illness were also interesting and sort of expected because once he told people he had AIDS they shunned him, but he was cool until they found out about it.

Quotes:

1. “I now only understand why it is that people lie about their past, why they say they are one thing other than the thing they really are, why they invent a self that bears no resemblance to who they really are, why anyone would want to feel as if he or she belongs to nothing, comes from no one, just fell out the sky, whole” (Pg. 13).

Sometimes the background we come from doesn’t make us want to tell people about our lives. We want to move past the things we’ve known all our lives because we think there’s something better. There is no point in being ashamed of where you come from because it shapes the person we’ve become today. There are some experiences we can share with other people that may help them through their situations.

2. “When I heard that my brother was sick and dying, the usual deliberation I allow myself whenever my family’s needs come up- should I let this affect me or not?-vanished. I felt like I was falling into a deep hole, but I did not try to stop myself from falling” (Pg. 20).

Jamaica didn’t want to feel anything for her sick brother because they weren’t that close but she was surprised that she actually felt something, sadness. She was feeling sad that this disease was affecting him, her little brother, and the one she used to change diapers for, before she went off to the U.S.

3. “Everyone I told that my brother had just died said how sorry they were, they would say this, “I’m sorry,” and those two words became so interesting to hear: everyone tried to say them with an emphasis that they hoped would convey the sincerity of their feelings; they were really sorry that this person they did not know was dead, that this person they would not have liked at all (I knew this, for they would have found him charming,)… (Pg. 105).

This quote made me question common practices in our society like why we say sorry for someone else’s death. I guess to some people that may be offensive because they never knew the person, so why apologize for their death.

This book does support my feelings about illness & dying because Jamaica’s mom tried to do everything she could to keep her son safe, and the rest of her children, but he still contracted the disease. At first it seemed like Jamaica felt that death was inevitable and it was something you could not avoid but as she spent more time with her brother she wanted to do everything to save him. She made sure he was able to spend extra time even though he was going to die by purchasing his medicine and doing everything she could so he could stay alive. I don’t know what I would do if someone in my family had contracted AIDS. I do believe I would want to know why they didn’t protect themselves and I would also spend as much time with them as I could. This book also helped me to realize that life is too short for holding grudges, Jamaica felt angry towards her mom but her mom believed that in order to be a good mom your children must hate you half the time, because before you know it that person can be gone.